to my beloved heroin addict…

I wish I could tell you I didn't cry this  that would be a lie and I am trying to tell the truth.

I finally prayed last night so I'm trying not to stray too far from that truth today.

Btw, Thanks for making me pray again. Maybe there is hope after all.

I wish I could pull back the curtain to unveil the masterpiece that is your entire life.

Maybe then you'd see how temporary your shitty situation really is and how permanent split decisions can be. I

wish I could somehow give you everything the drugs do and don not.

I wish I could hug you harder than heroin so that you never crave highs again.

I wish the lows weren't so damn depressing.

The depression always seems to outweigh the happiness somehow. Purdue pharma always tips the scales.

Get something to eat. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Step outside and smell the sun.

Even the patio can feel like a psychiatric unit if you sit around long enough.

Feel pain and sadness because without them, healing and happiness cannot exist. Get mad. Get really fucking mad. Go crazy. Cry. And then emerge lighter, having shed that which weighed you down. Notice how easy it is to dance.

Life can be really fucking hard...but that is also when it can be the most beautiful. That's when you find out who you really are, how strong you really are, how much courage you really have and just how damn smart you really are....then you just gotta roll with that shit.

You eventually are able to look into the mirror and smile.

One day you suddenly notice the sound of your own laughter

I wish I could tell you I didn't cry this morning. But that would be a lie.

I look forward to leaving my patio and dancing with you some day soon.

i love you.