I boarded the plane just as I craved another injection.

I felt sadness just as Brett texted me

“Here’s a shot of spirituality.”

The drugs in my bag were screaming at me.

No syringes were within my reach.

The drug I’m craving…

I actually hate it

but the rush

from the push

of the plunger

has me salivating.

God, I can’t take it.

Please.

Make it go away.

Take the needle God,

I pray.

I swear God,

if you will

remove the obsession

I won’t sin again.

I’ve learned my lesson.

Don’t dance with the devil.

I promise you Lord,

I had no idea

that if I felt Satan’s rush

inside me he’s live.

I’m nauseous.

I’m tired.

I’m angry and sad.

My life before using

wasn’t that bad.

I’m begging you now

as I wrestle with death

to please let me live

til at least the first step.

Take the sharp image

inside of my head .

Erase it please, God.

So I may live instead.

I got onto this plane

to run away from the devil again.

I don’t know

how strong I can be.

So father I am asking

for you to send strength.

Amen.